


A Journey

by cathrarina



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 01:09:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathrarina/pseuds/cathrarina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles doesn't understand, up till now he never understand what he really want, everything is dark, and he feels empty, but the truth is, it's not, he has been blindfolded up till now, and this is his time to open that blindfold that has closed his eyes for long and open his eyelids wide and so, he start to see that, even for him, he has something he got to do, that the world is waiting for him for his 'wonderful journey'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Journey

*

_I'm not a princess; this ain't a fairy tale,_

_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood; this is a small town,_

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around..._

_—Taylor Swift, White Horse_

_*_

Reality is a bitch, and Stiles can’t think of anything, beside the fact that _she_ really deserves a bitch slap as every bitch should.

“I mean, he’s Jackson, how come you didn’t see this coming?” asked Stiles, self-speaking sometimes worth a try as he too, sometimes need to ask it with the expert one, _himself_. “What are you wishing for, Stiles? For him too love you back, and then you live happily ever after?”

Is it wrong to love someone so dearly, that you willingly give everything to it? How much chance you have so you can be sure that you will loved back, so it won't end up attack yourself, giving you the most humiliating insult that will never able being taken aback whatsoever you do? Stiles still doesn't get the answer, and wait, there's still more question that he has to answer.

Even though, he know that all of those is rhetorical question, that don't have to be—or shouldn't be—answered, as there's no exact answer or maybe, no answer for those stupid question of himself, it just him, after all.

For today, Stiles just can’t stand lazing around in his room anymore, nothing he could do except dilly-dallying on his bed, daydreaming that he’s there with his so-called ‘best friend’, or whatever, he just can’t find any name that could match for him, Stiles never think that his only ‘best friend’ could do such thing, now best friend in his head is no longer the same, as everything around him is no longer worth to trust.

For Stiles, he’s now thinking of moving on first, thinking about _it_ will only make him want to kill himself, and that kind of thought is not something for Stiles, and once he’s thinking about it, his head will only revolve on it. People with high concentration ability, after all, is not all that good, sometimes, Stiles hope he can be an airhead instead, so he can easily let go what have happened and move forward as how the world work each second pass by, but it’s not simple.

He got sore eyes as there’s no more tears can come out from his eyes, specifically said, nothingness come out from his eyes now.

_“Actually, I’ve always wanted to tell you that, I’ve been love you, Stiles... and this feeling can no longer wait, and you have to know that, I love you, Stiles!” Jackson said, as he keeps focusing his eyes so their eyes still met._

_As for Stiles, this kind of thing is his very dear dream, how he too, have been longing for Jackson since they’re fourteen, when the puberty first hit him, the only thing he doesn’t understand is, how he can fall in love with his archenemy, and the trouble keep tingling in him, so he has to bear with it, how Jackson bullying him as Stiles enjoying it as a guilty pleasure, but he doesn’t get that he’s digging his own pitfall._

_Stiles is crying, from happiness that his love is answered and the way it answer his wonder for all this time, he got closer as he’s ready to hug Jackson with his affection..._

Stiles really should stop, before the thought of suicide will be platonic and he’ll end up thinking of it as the best answer for all.

As the first step, he’s trying to take a breather in the woods, as is the only place with zero population of _talking human_ , after all this is his very first time that he’s really want to be alone and not ‘talking’, right, Stiles that isn’t talking ain’t Stiles, but then again, he’s ordinary human; he sometimes want to be something that he is not.

He keeps walking as the woods got darker and darker, but not that he’s care, because something in his mind, hoping that the darkness will took him away from the world, like, forever. But, fortunately—or unfortunately for Stiles himself—that he manage to see moonlights come through between trees.

He just doesn’t get how the road lead him there, that he could find such an amazing place that have this very view, a place where people with angst dreamt of, a place where one can sit alone without worrying such thing like other people that will got there, like, out of nowhere, messing with this peacefulness, that one is really _comforting_ Stiles as he’s now really want to be alone for meanwhile.

He’s right there, standing on a grassy cliff, behind him standing forest that gives fair feeling, but in front of him, there’s a great lake with hills protecting it from unscrupulous desires to contaminate it with everything it got, with starry night sky and all things, he feels like he’s watching a giant painting, the only difference is the painting is change every second, as the object inside it, is moving and _alive_.

As he's seeing the wide world with stars and moon that decorating the sky, and lake with its glory, reflects their glow like it was its own radiance, the air giving a fair fragrance, kind of smell that you’ll got right before it’s start to raining, but Stiles pretty sure it’s clear as there’s no cloud anywhere on the sky, and wind rustle the tree leaf and make it way through his short hair, tickling his neck as it past trough down his ear, it is really something, doesn’t take any poet to illustrate how it works with magnifying word, as the way everything works, is wonderful by itself. All of it, make Stiles reminded once again, how the sky is so wide remind him that the world is so wide and there’s many chance that waiting to be opened, that every second in his life, he can use it usefully, and that he shouldn’t be stuck in his place that can only give small chance as there’s big chance waiting for him, and while he’s at it, the world is so borderless that it will keep widely open to show him that he chance is still open for everyone, including him, as what’s in his thought now, he know that there’s something that he should do long ago, and he feels he must do it right now, that is open the every door of chance that the world shows him.

 

***

 

That day Stiles’ Dad has to face the fact that Stiles is no longer a child, which is not bad thing, that his only child want to proves that he can standing on his own feet, by exploring every corner in this world and find the place where he belongs to, he can’t easily accept that fact, but determination in his eyes alone show it all, and his Dad just can do nothing but let him do thing as he want to, for now he just want to meet him for the sake of the long time they will not be together, he called Stiles to meet him in his room, Stiles couldn’t help but sighing, as he know where this will going, this night they will got into a long Dad-and-His Son conversation, Stiles open his Dad’s room door and get in, as he see that his Dad now on his face, what make Stiles curious, because he never put on that face—at least, not in front of Stiles—that got him grinning as for now he doesn’t get anything to say, they both sit there, his Dad keep on staring on him, as the room still awkwardly silent, his Dad start to open his mouth.

“Stiles Stilinski.” He said, Stiles only know that when he says his full name he is just about to got into a long preaching, but somehow he doesn’t get that feeling right now, and in a way or another, the way his Dad calls his full name gives him an odd relieved feeling, his dad start to talking again, “I, your Parent really, appreciate your choice, as your only parent that have been watching you from time to time, when you are only such a baby that only know that crying can solve every problem until now, seeing you now all grown up to be such a great person, and even though I hate to said this, I'm happy that you resemble your mom, she has weak body, though a very strong that make her can stay put, even when doctor said that she will not last for a year after you born, but she can prove that she can stay alive even until you're ten, as forn now, I'm really sorry that I don't take care of you very well this past years, you must know that I have to work for both of us, but I glad that yur mom has take care of you, and your choice today has proven that she doing it greatly. I say that I pretty proud of you Stiles ,though, maybe I will miss these day when you’re only a little boy, these day when you will wait until I home, these day when we both playing catching ball or other things together as dad and his son, I think I will really miss these day, but don’t worry, I’ll keep on praying for you, so one day you can put your feet once again this house with pride, I’ll keep waiting until that day comes, son.” His Dad said as he’s staring deeply into Stiles’ eyes meaningfully, no tears, though his eyes gotten wet every second he says ‘son’ as if he’ll never got to say that word anymore . “I bet your mom will be very proud of you too, son.”

“Thank you very much, Dad.” Stiles said, though he can’t hold on his tears, but it’s look like his dad is fine with it, as he doesn’t got word to say to Stiles like how every time he see Stiles crying. “I’ll surely take care of myself, that you’ll not get any word to say as I will get back to this home completely the same as how I was.”

“That thing is that I’m afraid of, son” He sighed; though he’s smiling when he finish his word, that get Stiles find himself smiling too, not that he hate his Dad, but up till now he doesn’t get it pretty much that his Dad loves him so much, that idea alone actually never cross his mind until tonight as his Dad doing is only disciplining him, but they sometimes too, got into joking with each other when his Dad is on his mood, but he got it now, that his Dad only want his only son to be strong, so he can take on the world. "I would like to see you change as you step on your feet on this house again, my son."

“Of course I will, I’ll get going tomorrow Dad, I’ve prepare everything, and, oh yeah... thank you for taking care of me as now I get it now that you’re the strongest Dad that mankind could get,  because the fact that you can keep surviving from my awesomeness, up till now, that’s all.” he said, that got the room silent dead for a second until they both laughing their ass off.

 

“Sometimes I wish you will never grow up.” his Dad murmured, Stiles got to hear that, and as he's leaving his room and leaves him a good night, his tears start to break down.

 

***

 

As the tomorrow come, Stiles got everything prepared in his Jeep at around 5 at the morning, he take stuffs just like daily necessity to his stuff that eventually will got into ‘useless’ category; for he, now he’s lifting his Xbox into the back of his Jeep.

“I think you’ll never need that kind of thing in your journey, son.” said Dad, as he seeing Stiles put on another ‘useless’ stuff up on his Jeep. “And that Xbox too, I think it will be more useful here.”

“For what? So you can cry while playing Red Dead for the sake of remembering me?” said Stiles, it’s all around his Dad face that he’s really want to play that game, and the fact that Stiles is not around to playing Assassin’s Creed on it, will give him more time to play it, but now that dream must be shattered to dust. “I think this thing will be on its most usefulness, if I brought it with me.”

They both fall into laughter. “Alright, how about you take this house with you too? In case you’re missing home” his Dad said as Stiles start the engine.

“Hey! You’re joking Dad? Like seriously, it’s your first time trying to be funny and you must use 70’s jokes on me?” He said.

“Just take care of yourself, you disrespectful son!” his Dad said, with a pretty mad face, that got Stiles grinning.

“You too, my old man!” Stiles said as he got moving, he got a glimpse of his Dad grinning, and it got him grinning too, his dad seeig from afar that his only son now get going, that maybe it will take a long time until they get together again, a very long time, but he can be sure that Stiles will get back to home, just matter of time until that day come.

“Okay, world! Ready or not, I’m coming!” Stiles yelled loudly as he’s trying to get rid of his anxiety, for now, he’s longing for big world that is lying right front of him that layered with many different chances that’s waiting for his step to open it.

 

***

 

All that left is Stiles’ strong will, and how he let the wind to guide him into infinite amounts of adventure, as he enjoys the journey, his anxiety worn off, it’s just like vacation, but with nowhere as destination, he thought of a journey that make him have to cross over the forests, hills, mountains, shores, desserts and all sort of adventurous place while he will have to singing like crazy, as he start to call himself ‘Stiles-The-Explorer’, he now thinking of how much experience that he will got from every place he goes to, as it not something he could buy from any travel agencies.

Right now he’s enjoying how the midday sunlight met his skin, and hot wind crash his face, make his face feels so hot, but it worth as  the feels of like nothing in this world can interfere him from his finding the truth of chance, at night he adore the way starlight on his head accompanying him while he’s tempted by lullaby that he used to hear when he was six-years old, when he still has his mom to play this song when he’s just being himself; such a crybaby that used to be good-for-nothing, as he sighed with fair pleasure, “ah, good ol’ day.” he says to himself.

“That thing is that I’m afraid of, son” He sighed; though he’s smiling when he finish his word, that get Stiles find himself smiling too, not that he hate his Dad, but up till now he doesn’t get it pretty much that his Dad loves him so much, that idea alone actually never cross his mind until tonight as his Dad doing is only disciplining him, but they sometimes too, got into joking with each other when his Dad is on his mood, but he got it now, that his Dad only want his only son to be strong, so he can take on the world.


End file.
